Most women grow up being conditioned to emphasize their masculine traits and suppress their feminine energy. On top of that, if you grew up with a toxic family environment like me, then you’ve probably taught yourself to hide your feminine energy because you didn’t feel safe enough to express that warmer, loving, joyful, compassionate, intuitive, and expressive side of yourself.
And if that's the case, you’ve probably gotten stuck living in your masculine energy. And in order to fully embrace a purpose-driven and softer life, where you can become your authentic self without the need to prove, justify, or protect yourself, that imbalance needs to be healed. But how do you know if you're operating too much out of your masculine? Well, these are some common signs.
Note, if you want to learn more about what the masculine and feminine energies are, check out this video.
1 - You think more than you feel
One of the main differences between the feminine and masculine energies, is that the feminine resides in the body and the masculine lives in the mind. Therefore, if you often feel the need to justify your actions or decisions with reasoning and logic, and feel uncomfortable trusting your intuition without a "reasonable" explanation to back it up, you're probably living too much in your masculine energy.
Being able to connect with your emotions and inner knowing instinctively is a superpower and everyone has it within them. The only thing stopping it is the idea that somehow it's not good enough unless it can be backed up by hard logic or facts. But here's a fact: You can sense when something is wrong, and that saves time when making decisions and keeps you safe. Another fact: Your life isn't meant to look good on paper, what feels good does so for a reason. And fact three: Emotions are a natural part of the human experience, running away from them or pretending they don't exist doesn't make someone an expert - it just makes them afraid, so stop listening to them and feel your feelings.
Sign 2 - You feel disconnected from your body, emotions, and intuition
Building on the first sign, if you struggle to recognize and label your feelings or tune into your intuition, then you're probably too much in your masculine energy. The feminine is connected to your body, your emotions, your intuition, and your soul and all of these are powerful and essential in creating a softer life with purpose. And yet, when we live too much in our masculine we get disconnected from them and struggle to truthfully and completely answer a simple question like "how do you feel?"
Sign 3 - You often feel a need to protect yourself
One of the biggest contributors to anyone suppressing their feminine energy, is due to the feminine's need to feel safe in order to express itself. If a part of you feels at risk, uncomfortable, or unsafe - your masculine will step up to protect you and the feminine will remain hidden.
So things like hiding your authentic self, not sharing important news or information about yourself or your life, always prefering to be alone or with a small and specific group of people (like your partner) or feeling like that's the only time you can really relax, and feeling scared to share your opinions with others can all be signs that your masculine energy is running the show.
Sign 4 - You struggle to be alone with yourself without numbing yourself
Are you comfortable sitting alone by yourself, having dinner, without social media, Netflix, alcohol, or the radio in the background? Can you simply sit with yourself and feel at ease? Do you actually feel at peace within yourself? If not, the feminine isn't being fully expressed and you might be stuck in your masculine energy.
Going back to what we've mentioned before, the feminine needs to feel safe. But if you grew up in an environment, or had another experience, where you didn't feel safe, you might've gotten good at putting up walls, numbing yourself, and protecting yourself from really feeling and simply being.
Thing is, we need to start healing that unsafety and realize that we're no longer in that situation. We need to come home to ourselves and create a safe, loving, and empowering space within ourselves first and foremost. And if you struggle to feel at ease in your own company, enjoy spending solo-time with yourself, or speak lovingly to and about yourself - then that's another sign the masculine has taken over and your feminine is being over-shadowed.
Sign 5 - You find it challenging to connect with other women
The masculine is all about independence and self-sufficiency. The feminine is about community, connection, and support. So if you're struggling to create deep, meaningful, enriching friendships - especially with calm, empowered, and supportive women who don’t gossip, use a lot of sarcasm, or search for drama or self-pity in their lives - then you're probably operating out of your masculine.
Don't get me wrong, it's okay and amazing to be independent. Sometimes that's super valuable. But so is being able to create deep connections, build an empowering community, and receive help and guidance. You're not put on this earth to walk alone all the time, you're meant to find your people to walk with you. And the truth is, asking for help, showing who you really are, and opening up to new people - that all takes courage, vulnerability, and empathy. So what part of that seems weak? It seems powerful and brave, right? That's because it is.
There are probably even more signs of someone who's stuck in their masculine energy, but these are some of them. I’ve resonated with all of these at some point in my life and one part of healing that imbalance and create a safe space for your feminine energy to express itself, is understanding just how important that part of you truly is and why you’ve been conditioned to believe it’s weaker, lesser, or not as valuable as the masculine. So if you’re interested in diving deeper into the lies society has told you about the feminine energy, then I really recommend checking out this video.
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