5 Powerful Ways to Stop Abandoning Yourself

When something in life feels painful - whether it’s a difficult relationship, a work conflict, or even rejection - it’s natural to think the event itself is what’s causing the most hurt.

But here’s the truth: The deepest pain doesn’t come from what happens to us. It comes from the way we abandon ourselves in the process.

When someone tells you you’re not good enough, the real wound isn’t their words, it’s that you believe them. When someone leaves, the heartbreak deepens because you also leave yourself. And when someone doesn’t love you the way you deserve, you stick around anyway because you’ve stopped showing yourself the love you crave.

To stop self-abandonment isn’t only about healing old wounds, it’s about reclaiming your power and creating emotional resilience. So if you want to become the most aligned, empowered version of yourself, the first step is to stop abandoning yourself.

Here are 5 powerful ways to stop abandoning yourself and build self-trust and emotional safety within yourself first and foremost:

1. Stop Abandoning Yourself (yup..!)

Truth is, to stop abandoning yourself really just begins with doing the opposite of the habits you've normalized. Sometimes, self-abandonment looks like saying “yes” when you mean “no” or surrounding yourself with people who don’t uplift and support you. Other times, it’s failing to see the goodness within yourself, brushing off your wins, or ignoring what you truly need (read more here about signs you're abandoning yourself).

So to create trust and safety within yourself, it begins when you start doing the opposite: Recognize the good in yourself, celebrate small victories, and learn to say “no” in a kind, respectful way, choose environments and relationships that make you feel grounded, supported, and genuinely good about who you are... and essentially do the opposite of all the little ways you've learned to abandon yourself.

2. Tell the Truth (and foster authenticity)

Self-trust begins with honesty. This means saying what you truly feel, even when it’s uncomfortable. Don’t say, “it’s fine” when it’s not fine. Don’t say, “I’m happy” when you’re struggling. If you want something more, like a deeper commitment or better treatment, stop pretending you’re okay with less.

Honesty with yourself creates clarity and builds the foundation for trust - which is what you ultimately need in order to heal the self-abandoning relationship you've built with yourself and live your life with authenticity.

3. Heal Your Relationship with Yourself

This step is all about turning inward. Instead of seeking validation, love, and support from external sources, learn to give those things to yourself. Validate your feelings. Support your dreams. Love yourself in the way you’ve always wanted to be loved.

When you stop outsourcing your needs to the outside world, you realize that what you’ve been searching for was always within you.

4. Commit to Personal Growth

One of the most powerful ways to rebuild self-trust is by getting to know yourself on a deeper level. Personal growth isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a transformative practice.

So take time to explore who you are, what you desire, and what makes you feel most alive. Learn about the parts of you that you’ve been ignoring or judging. Build compassion for yourself as you would for a close friend. Trust is earned over time, and the relationship you have with yourself is no different.

5. Make Decisions Without External Input

Reclaiming self-trust means learning to rely on your own wisdom and taking charge of your own life and how you live it. Start with small decisions and even recognize the ways you're already making decisions (no matter how small!) in your everyday life. Consciously make decisions without needing to take a poll of everyone else's opinion and build your way up to bigger choices.

Over time, this builds confidence in your ability to lead your own life. The more you trust yourself, the more empowered and aligned you’ll feel.

Healing self-abandonment isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. Every small step you take to honor yourself, trust yourself, and love yourself creates a ripple effect in your life.

The life you dream of isn’t waiting out there somewhere, it’s within you, waiting for you to stop abandoning yourself. And the transformation you’re seeking begins the moment you stop looking outward for fulfillment and start reconnecting with your authentic and highest self.